5 Worthy Candidates for Hip-Hop Attorney General
In the midst of the clusterfuck that is the Trump administration so far, U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions has once again come under fire for
bold-faced lies misrepresentation of his communications with Russian officials during the course of the 2016 presidential election.
As imperative as it is that we the people remain focused on holding our current government officials accountable for their egregious slip-ups and illegal actions, it's equally as important to briefly escape the circus act that is the acting administration and instead seek refuge in fantasy. With that in mind, we came up with five emcees that we feel could competently act as hip-hop’s attorney general.
As a reminder, the role of an attorney general is to act as the chief law enforcement officer and chief lawyer of their government, so we’ve chosen artists that, for one reason or another, would likely be appointed to hold down the law in a hypothetical hip-hop government.
Here we go...
If you follow Talib on Twitter, this one should be a no-brainer.
Talib is the law when it comes to 140-character injustices, and is willing to go to great lengths to uphold truth and justice. Not only is Talib eloquent and intelligent, he takes absolutely no shit, and is one of hip-hop’s greatest defenders against racism both overt and subliminal.
I have no doubts that Talib would patrol hip-hop’s legal affairs in a stern and fair manner, and would always be willing to admit when he fucked up, an occurrence that would be infrequent at most—Talib don't slip.
If he’s not already the president in this hypothetical hip-hop cabinet, Killer Mike would make a fantastic attorney general. Mike has proven himself time and again to be a patriot in the truest sense of the word, and his knowledge of judicial and legislative history is astonishing.
As the son of a police officer and a staunch organizer in the face of police brutality, I can’t think of anyone better to act as the chief law enforcement officer. Plus, Mike loves his weed, so you best believe the war on drugs would be kaput on day one.
David Banner’s commitment to the empowerment of the black community has been a staple of his existence for over a decade. In 2006, Banner was awarded the Visionary Award by the National Black Caucus of the State Legislature in celebration of his charitable work and activism following Hurricane Katrina.
In recent years, Banner has been lecturing at colleges and community centers across the country, stressing the importance of activism, especially following the election of Donald Trump. Banner is both an intelligent and incredible orator and serves as a much-needed organizer and motivator for equality movements.
Also, I just really want to hear the “David, David, David Banner” drop every time the attorney general takes the podium at a press conference or congressional address.
This one only makes sense if you’re aware of Rozay’s life BEFORE hip-hop.
It’s fairly well-known that Ross was a corrections officer back when he was just William Roberts, but before he
blatantly stole adopted the persona of legendary cocaine trafficker Freeway Ricky Ross, the Teflon Don studied criminal justice at Albany State University while on a football scholarship.
Considering Ross has some of the most legitimate experience with the judicial system in the hip-hop realm, his insight and previous work experience could make him an invaluable asset as the attorney general of hip-hop.
My selection of Ab-Soul might not be immediately apparent, but allow me to explain.
Not only would a smooth-talking Carsonite make for a perfect lawyer capable of heading hip-hop’s legal affairs, on “Beat The Case / / / Straight Crooked”, a smoldering, ScHoolboy Q-assisted track from Soul’s recent DWTW album, Ab’s lyrics focus on his ability to—you guessed it—beat the case. That hints at, at the very least, a precursory knowledge of the judicial system, and if someone knows how to beat a case, they surely know how to make one stick.
Anyone that makes a “blind justice” joke is a total jerk, by the way.
By Brent Bradley. Follow him on Twitter.
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