Eminem - 3 A.M.
I remember the day like it was just yesterday. It was my 16th birthday and my father took me to the DMV for my driving exam. Inexplicably, I failed my test. I went back the following day, however, and victory reigned supreme (the key is to find older, female examiners). So, what does this story have to do with the new record that Eminem himself premiered Thursday morning on his Sirius station, Shade 45? Well, upon passing my exam, my folks made one thing crystal clear: nothing good happens in the early morning hours. For proof of my parents’ infinite wisdom, take a listen to Slim’s 3 A.M., a five-minute lyrical slaughterhouse (literally). In addition to revealing that he masturbates to Hannah Montana, the Shady one details his own murder in a series of nightmares, and how too many Vicodin and shots of Jack Daniels drove him to brutally dismember his cousin. Oddly enough, it has never been more appropriate to say the following: Welcome back, Marshall!