Hey aspiring rappers, want to never get featured on DJBooth (or any other self-respecting website or blog for that matter)? Well, there are two sure fire ways to make it happen. First, make sure you do not BCC all the contacts you are e-mailing; nothing gets us more interested in your work like giving away our e-mail addressees to 150 or more fellow strangers. Second, make sure to send us your "0 to 100" freestyle. You are totally the only person to do it and you definitely did it better than Drake.
In all seriousness, never ever send us your Drake freestyle. It might be dope, but if we posted even half of the "0 to 100" remakes we receive on the daily, the site would be nothing but "0 to 100" freestyles. If you can make "0 to 100" dope, you can definitely make a cool, and more importantly, original song; we want to hear that instead.
So, to summarize, send us original stuff. If you send us "0 to 100," I'll eat your face off.
That being said, it isn't impossible for a Drake freestyle to be dope. As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes they are awesome. So here's what we are going to do. I'm going to share five dope "0 to 100" freestyles with y'all, but then, we will never ever speak of a Drake freestyle again. I don't care if Tupac comes out of hiding only to release one song -- a Drake freestyle; it won't ever meet my earholes. So after these five, we're done; you better enjoy them now because it's all you are going to get.
Best line: "Might as well rock a pink moustache like a Lyft."
Best line: "I'm out here with my gang/I ain't talking about the house boy/But they got some shit in common/Both rap niggas - some rhymin' some embalming."
Fat Trel (believe it or not):
Best Line: His kiss sound ad-lib.
What's going on here? First Fat Trel and now...
Best Line: "So many holes in ya they gone call you Julio/Oops I mean Hole-I-O, Holyfield knows he’s broke/Shooting at your Rolls Royce turn it to the holy ghost."
Could have gone with the G-Unit one, but that's no fun. Here's a freestyle from a rapper you probably haven't heard from...
Best Line: "My philly n***as ain't actin' I don't know Will Smith/Running all through Manhattan where n***as kill shit/ My n***as think they from Chicago how the drill shit."
As much as I hate them, I totally get the appeal of a Drake freestyle. If that beat can make me like some wild, ingant shit like Fat Trel, it can make me like anything. The only problem is that for every Dumbfoundead, there are seven of these (note the gun-toting lyrics juxtoposed with his daddy's BMW)...
Now I know rappers don't listen, so if you think you simply must send your "0 to 100" freestyle to us (even though I just got done saying this is the end of the road), please, just send them to Nathan. He loves them as much as he loves his beard.
[Lucas Garrison is a writer for DJBooth.net. His favorite album is “College Dropout,” but you can also tweet him your favorite Migos songs at @LucasDJBooth.]