A Guide to the Funniest Rapper Alive, Vince Staples

"I thought Paul Wall was Puerto Rican" and other Vince Staples hilarity.
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"I thought Paul Wall was Puerto Rican" and other Vince Staples hilarity.

Most rappers are surprisingly boring. All the charm and energy that appears on the records we adore are lost when they leave the booth or stage. Where’s the gusto? Where’s the clever? I’ve flushed toilets with more soul than Travi$ Scott's interviews. There are artists who are all about turning up, but offstage could cure insomnia.  

There’s exceptions though, rappers able to be interesting individuals no matter the medium. Vince Staples is one of them. In fact, Vince is possibly the most entertaining rapper in the world right now. This might come as a surprise since his music is some of the most serious out there. This is the same kid that made an album inspired by his thirteenth birth year and it lacked all the fun teenage high jinx that you see in movies like the Sandlot. He’s boasted about being a prominent baseball player in his younger years but one listen to his music and you know Vince was more likely to be G-Baby than Smalls.

The gangbanging adolescent he encapsulates in his music is far from the thrills that you get when watching movies full of crip walking and lowriders, the madness he raps about has no glory, there’s no fun in watching lives lost, stuck in a cycle of broken homes, incarcerations, and gravestones. Despite all of this, he has somehow contained a humor that has yet to surface behind the microphone. The true Vince Staple’s experience begins with the music but the man has much more to offer the public. This is a guide for all those that aren’t aware of how funny the Ramona Park Legend truly is.


When Kanye speaks, the world opens its ears for the gospel. He’s the one man in hip-hop that stops everything when an interview is released. Kendrick is up there, along with J. Cole, but Vince Staples' interviews really are worth the same attention. You should treat his interviews like a new song, when it drops rush to the blog, you will not be disappointed. He’s bright, sharp, and no matter the topic will reply with a fresh perspective that might surprise you. Much like his tweets, his interviews are full of humor. He’ll make you think, laugh, and both at the same damn time. 

Who would win out of Miley vs Taylor?

Taylor would whup her ass. Taylor got reach! Taylor's like 6" 3. I don't fuck with Miley Cyrus. I don't like what Miley Cyrus said about Kendrick Lamar. She needs to say sorry. It was very salty. Hasn't she got some Disney money to spend? 

She said "Kendrick Lamar sings about LSD and he's cool..."

She didn't know who she was talking about. Kendrick Lamar doesn't have a song about LSD - that's A$AP Rocky. So is it either you don't know what you're talking about or is it all black people look alike? Either one is fine with me but shut the fuck up Miley Cyrus. I love Taylor Swift because she got a little bit of my publishing back with that whole Apple Music thing she did. Anyone who has a problem with Taylor Swift, I'm supporting her because I'm trying to buy a home right now. 

Where do you stand on TIDAL?

I got Apple Music but I appreciate TIDAL - let everyone get involved. You don't see the bottled water companies taking shots at each other. No-one's on Twitter saying, "Fuck Dasani they trying to do what Arrowhead did!" Dude, let 'em live. Whoever has more FKA Twigs is my favourite streaming service - Vince Staples & I.D Vice

Both the EP and "Señorita" are noticeably distinct from your older music; they really bang. I feel like an idiot saying something like that, but really.

You have to captivate and entertain if you want your message to get across. If people don't die in The Godfather, then what is it? It's boring as fuck. - Vince Stapes & Interview Mag

Do you think the culture has shifted?

Hip-hop culture has. It’s not appreciated. You get too much of it. When you’re a kid, you don’t appreciate home-cooked meals. You want to go to McDonald’s because your mom always cooks. You want Chicken motherfucking McNuggets. - Vince Staples & Fader

What was it like making Hell Can Wait? Was Def Jam very involved?

The real shit about record labels is you get paid regardless. You sign a contract, and you can get paid regardless. But you have to work with them. They’re making an investment in you—it’s a bank. You can’t get a car note and not pay your end of the lease, then get mad when they take your car. Every rapper makes $30,000 a year [from a label]. It might be a big check, but you might only get one every three, four years. You sign for $100,000 for three years, you working McDonalds. - Vince Staples & Self-Titled Mag


A lot of rappers are terrible at Twitter. They have nothing to offer your timeline but promoting music or outlandish comments they will eventually backpedal on. Rappers will moonwalk to their childhood before standing behind their word. Well if you need a rapper to entertain you with 140 characters or less, Vince Staples is your rapper. If there was a GRAMMY category for best tweets, Vince Staples would win hands down. If The Source had to review rappers timelines, and they probably will soon, his is an easy 5 mics. Follow Vince and watch your day and timeline improve tremendously.

(Fake?) Sprite Endorsement:

I usually can’t stand when celebrities are constantly promoting a product. If you watch BET or MTV Jams and took a shot for every video with a Beats Pill included, you’ll be in a drunk in puddle of vomit within an hour. Once again, Vince Staples is an exception. The way he endorses Sprite is nothing short of genius. The kid can slide it into an conversation as if he’s a the official spokesman. Although, to be clear, I’m not certain if he’s officially sponsored or it's an elaborate hoke, but the way he promotes the green beverage is far more entertaining than the Drake lyrics that are printed on the cans.

What's the best thing about not drinking and not smoking?

To me, I've seen drunk people and I've seen high people and they annoy me. Can you imagine me high or drunk? It wouldn't be very suitable. My Dad was a dopehead so I'm good on that stuff. I had to get over familiar with having seizures. I used to be on the sodas. Now I just drink Sprite, which is different. Sprite is a flavoured beverage of the people.

Fan Interaction:

Just a few days ago I was at my first Vince Staples show. His set was pretty live, despite his lack of radio success, there’s a couple bangers in his catalog that definitely set fire to the venue. What I noticed during the transitions between songs is how he interacted with the crowd while catching a breather. Actually, it was more like heckling. Like the kid Alex that admitted he wasn’t a fan of Gucci Mane, one thing you should never say during a rap show in Atlanta. Vince was on him all night. During one of their exchanges, Alex said Kanye didn’t like Gucci Mane. He bet Vince $20, which he laughed at. Vince raised the stakes to $100,000 if Alex was willing to bet his car. To the surprise of everyone, Vince even told his DJ to get Kanye on the phone. It was moments like this throughout the night, little jokes that didn’t make the pauses seem long or winded. This is something he also does through Twitter. He isn’t sending heart emoji or entertaining trolls with serious rebuttals, he’s goofy.

Comedy Team With Mac Miller:

Every Kenan needs a Kel, every Beavis needs a Butthead, and Vince Staples... well he doesn’t need Mac Miller but the two together is surprisingly hilarious. The two became close friends during Mac’s days in California, Vince was one of the many rappers that went to his mansion and made music. One of the times he was over was recorded as a bonus clip for Mac’s former MTV series. It’ll take you back to the middle school days of nonsense with your best chum. Of course the two interacting over social media is also worth its weight in gold but the best exchange with the duo has to be a recently released Fader article where the two sit down and discuss white rappers in hip-hop. Serious topic but two very insightful and silly rappers.

STAPLES: White people definitely root for white people.

MILLER: That’s a huge reason why it’s become so big right now. People are like, “Yeah! A white guy rapping! I wanna support that because not a lot of white guys rap!” I remember hearingEminem for the first time in my kitchen: I had a really little TV that was as big as my head, and “The Real Slim Shady” was on MTV. I definitely had a moment of being a young white kid rapping every lyric in the mirror.

STAPLES: I ain’t really fuck with Eminem at first. I saw “Purple Pills,” and I was like, “What the fuck is these niggas doin’?” But I didn’t really care about rapping. I was trying to hear some Ja Rule, like, “Nigga, where Ashanti at? Don’t nobody wanna hear you rappin’ about your momma.” That’s how I was feeling in my younger days. Eminem was too aggressive for me.

MILLER: Paul Wall, to the culture, is so important and crazy because he was a white dude that was just like, “I’m just a cool ass white dude, so I’mma rap.” It wasn’t, “I know I’m not supposed to be here, so let me get really next-level.”

STAPLES: I thought Paul Wall was Puerto Rican. Are we talking about white people that rap, or white rappers? Cause it’s a fuckin difference. White rappers are corny. White people that rap, it’s like, “Oh, that’s wassup. You white, you rap.” - What Is The Place For White Rappers Today?

Bonus Clips:

You should listen to Vince Staples' music, it's some of the best hip-hop being made today. But even if you don't enjoy the man's SoCal brand of rap, anyone who enjoys laughing should be following Vince Staples. And for the record, Paul Wall isn't Puerto Rican. We checked. 

UPDATE: Vince Staples' Yelp review is now my favorite new thing on the internet. 

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[By Yoh, aka Spring '91, aka @Yoh31. Art via Instagram.]