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Kanye Made a Poem About McDonald’s, WTF Does it Mean?

Kanye has taken some weird artistic turns in the past, but a poem about McDonald’s just begs to be investigated.
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This past week has been a whirlwind of excitement for Frank Ocean fans everywhere. After Frank dropped the confusing, Apple Music-exclusive visual album Endless, the enigmatic artist hit fans with yet another release in the form of Blond/Blonde, an album that in addition to also being exclusively available via iTunes/Apple Music was also released physically within the pages of a much-hyped new magazine, entitled Boys Don’t Cry (long expected to be the title of the album itself).

Amidst the general excitement of the release and the plethora of content located within the pages of the zine, one contribution stuck out and set the internet ablaze -- Kanye West wrote a poem about McDonald’s.

Let's examine... 

McDonalds Man

McDonalds Man

The French Fries Had A Plan

The French Fries Had A Plan

The Salad Bar And The Ketchup Made A Band

Cus The French Fries Had A Plan

The French Fries Had A Plan

McDonalds Man

McDonalds

I Know Them French Fries Had A Plan

I Know Them French Fries Had A Plan

The Cheeseburger And The Shakes Formed A Band

To Overthrow The French Fries Plan

I Always Knew Them French Fries Was Evil Man

Smelling All Good And Shit

I Don’t Trust No Food That Smells That Good Man

I Don’t Trust It I Can’t

McDonalds Man

McDonalds Man

McDonalds Damn

Them French Fries Look Good Tho

I Knew The Diet Coke Was Jealous Of The Fries

I Knew The Diet Coke Was Jealous Of The Fries

Even The McRib Was Jealous Of The Fries

I Could See It Through His Artificial Meat Eyes

And He Only Be There Some Of The Time

Everybody Was Jealous Of Them French Fries

Except For That One Special Guy

That Smooth Apple Pie

"McDonald’s Man" is, at first glance, simplistic and minimalist. Upon further inspection, however, it seems as though Kanye may be trying to use the world’s most successful fast food chain as a metaphor...but for what?

The fact Iggy Azalea heard this musing way back in 2013, means there was enough meaning behind it for Kanye to have kept it in the vault for three years, and to unleash it unto the world via one of the most anticipated releases in recent memory. That meaning, as of yet, has gone unexplained, so let’s explore a couple theories as to what this ode to the House that Ronald built means exactly.

On the surface the focus of this poem is clearly the french fries, who are at first represented innocuously enough. “The french fries had a plan." Alright. No big deal there, that’s cool. As the poem progresses, though, the malicious intentions of the fries become clear, and other items from the Micky D’s menu are plotting against them in some weird food-themed Animal Farm reboot.

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Are the french fries “the Man”? Is Kanye using an actual evil corporation’s most delicious accomplishment to represent the very real corporate entities that keep visionaries like Kanye from reaching their desired heights? Even more sinister and much more broad -- are the french fries representative of systemic white supremacy in America? Is the facade of the french fries' delicious smell (the allure of white privilege) giving way to their evil intentions (institutionalized racism) an allegory for the modern black man’s full realization of racial inequality?

But what about the items that are jealous of the fries? What does that shit mean? And is Kanye the apple pie? Why isn’t he jealous of the fries? Could this mean the fries are actually Kim Kardashian? Think about it -- the Kardashians are widely criticized for being famous for little to no reason, yet Kim’s aesthetic has become a legitimate target for both men and women. Women want to look like her, and men want a woman that looks like her. Whether it’s admitted or not, there are a great deal of people who are jealous of Kim K...except for that one special guy. See what I mean? 

One or more of these theories may be true, and it's also very possible I should just stop getting high before I start thinking about shit that Kanye wrote, but the reputations of the artists involved leads me to believe this is no simple ode to one man’s love of McDonald’s.

While we may never get a straight answer from Ye on what these different food items, and their banding together, represent, it's hard to believe Frank Ocean didn’t just tap Kanye to create the world’s most cryptic McDonald’s ad for a project he’s spent years working on. Although, he is no stranger to product placement.

So the question remains, and may forever remain: what the fuck is Kanye talking about?

***

By Brent Bradley. Share your Kanye conspiracies with him on Twitter.

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