Though N.E.R.D premiered the entirety of their forthcoming fifth studio album, NO ONE EVER REALLY DIES, at ComplexCon earlier this month, those of us not in attendance draped head to toe in Supreme have been waiting patiently for weeks to hear a follow-up to their Rihanna-assisted lead single "Lemon."
Today, Pharrell, Chad and Shay's funky rap-rock outfit released "1000," the Future-featuring latest taste of their first full-length in seven years. To celebrate, we rounded up the squad to react to the new record.
Below is a transcript of our entire staff reacting to "1000" on Slack. Grab some Tylenol.
Donna: I genuinely do not like this. It sounds like 4 motifs slapped together and we're supposed to jazzercise to the whole thing.
Z: THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON.
Donna: I feel like I need two small weights and a neon scrunchy to really enjoy the song. And a dying marriage. The shame, too, is if you parse out each motif, they're all pretty engaging.
Hershal: Remember that weird group SuperHeavy with Mick Jagger, Joss Stone, Dave Stewart, A. R. Rahman, and Damian Marley? THIS SONG SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD HAVE BEEN MADE BY THEM.
Z: I appreciate N.E.R.D's mission to always be different. But this is an attack on my nerves.
CineMasai: I like their song from the second Spongebob movie better.
Sermon: Future will never say no to a check.
Hershal: It sounds like 4 M.I.A. songs being played simultaneously with two Santigold songs playing in reverse for good measure.
Sermon: This is worse than Will Smith's EDM song that doesn't actually exist because his last song was "Switch" in 2005.
Yoh: I'm realizing the album is called No One Really Dies because the music is meant to make us feel trapped in a musical purgatory. Someone save my soul.
CineMasai: Future sounds out of place. The music's eating him.
Yoh: The music is eating me.
Donna: I want the four tracks this song was made of to be its own EP. I would purchase that.
Z: I need an Advil. Actually, two or three.
Hershal: This may be the precise moment where Tyler The Creator stops being inspired by Pharrell.
Matt: *walks into chat* The fuck? *walks out*
Yoh: I need a N.E.R.D album inspired by Tyler.
Sermon: All we gotta do is talk about N.E.R.D bad songs and Matt leaves. Everyone remember this.
Donna: I don't know if I need a N.E.R.D album anymore.
Z: I need a N.E.R.D album not inspired by a '80s video game soundtrack meets a late night infomercial on speed.
CineMasai: That breakdown with the synths is tight, not gonna lie.
Matt: This sounds like the music that plays when the boss on the Ninja Turtles arcade game shows up.
Yoh: This is the sound of an apocalypse occurring in the world of Tron.
Matt: I know N.E.R.D likes to go all avant-garde but this song stinks.
Brendan: It sounds like playing every song on Jaden Smith’s album at the same time.