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I Left My Ex a Drunken Voicemail and Accidentally Created Drake’s New Single

Not again.
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Not again.

Last night I drank too much. I took more shots to the head than JFK in a motorcade. Then I got a little too emotional and I left my ex a voicemail.

The next morning I woke up and realized that I recorded it, gave it a sick beat and sent it to Drizzy himself. Now it’s No. 1 on Apple Music.

It happens to the best of us.

Drunk voicemails are a sacred national tradition, as American as apple pie or school shootings. But Drake doesn’t get enough credit for the fact that he singlehandedly revolutionized drunk voicemails back in 2011.

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Typically, the official protocol is that there are 3 different types of drunk voicemails when you’re calling your ex.

  1. ANGRY (“Fuck you, I hope you’re happy with Jonathan.”)
  2. ROMANTIC (“I miss you, I can treat you better than Jonathan.”)
  3. SEXUAL (“Come over, I wanna fuck you… and Jonathan.”)

But Drake changed the game when he dropped "Marvin’s Room" back in 2011, otherwise known as The Official Drunk Voicemail Anthem™️.

There’s a lot of debate about whether it’s OK to kneel during the national anthem. I think it’s fine to kneel during the anthem but you should NEVER kneel during "Marvin’s Room." Stand up and show some respect for this country.

But please, take this is a cautionary tale and drink responsibly. Otherwise, you might end up on a fire track next week.

This article was reprinted with permission by LA-based comedian Drew Landry. Follow Drew on Medium.

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