Mood-setting music for your house is crucial to creating not only the perfect atmosphere for you and your family but also putting together an unforgettable experience for your guests. Modern technology makes it easier than ever to make sure your musical prowess is never more than a button away with devices like Amazon’s Alexa.
While Jeff Bezos is slowly draining all of our jobs, time, and money, the one silver lining is Alexa, which allows us to program our music throughout the house. This feature gives us the ability to create playlists based on the specific room we’re in. Also, to be clear, Amazon did not pay DJBooth to publish this article. And to prove it, f**k Amazon.
So, which songs are essential for each room of the house? Since you’re reading this on a hip-hop website, I highly doubt you came here for me to discuss which fucking country songs would sound best in your kitchen. The more specific question, then, is: “Which rap songs would fit best in each room in your house?”
Look, this is the most important article you’re ever going to read. We even made a Spotify playlist for you. I expect you to treat me like your own personal Ty Pennington, but with music.
“Wipe Me Down” by Boosie Badazz featuring Webbie & Foxx
One essential aspect of an unforgettable kitchen is how spotless and pristine it looks. That means, to keep it clean at all times, your wiping skills for every nook and cranny of the kitchen must be elite. What could make that grueling process easier? Having a song that literally guides you through the task you need to complete.
“I Cook” by Lil B
Listen, the pun doesn’t get much stronger than Lil B’s “I Cook,” a track so simplistic and specific to kitchen practices, it feels illegal not to include it here. You don’t step into the kitchen to hang out or socialize. You’re there, as Lil B so eloquently puts it, to “cook” and “chef.” If not, then get the fuck out because you’re blocking all the drawers.
“Cut It” by O.T. Genasis featuring Young Dolph
Making enjoyable music that also reiterates the functionality and purpose of the kitchen is essential. These songs are so explanatory, stringing them together will take a novice chef straight through the entire cooking process. Enter O.T. Genasis.
“Grindin” by Clipse
The entirety of Clipse’s catalog feels like it was made for the kitchen. Does that mean Malice and Pusha-T would match up with the average person’s kitchen usage? Unlikely. However, “Grindin,” a song that we can replicate by banging on a kitchen counter, belongs in the pantheon of great kitchen music, and I won’t hear otherwise.
“Bed” by J. Holiday
Potentially too on the nose here, but this one is multi-purposed more than one might realize. J. Holiday’s “Bed,” while great for playing after the kids have gone to sleep, also doubles as a message to your kids: go to sleep. “I’mma put you to bed, bed, bed,” is authoritative, demanding, and perfect for any parent at their wits’ end. Thank you, J. Holiday. I hope you’ve been well.
“Go 2 Sleep” by Ludacris
Whether by choice or by mistake, we often don’t get the proper rest our bodies need, and it might be useful to have a song like “Go 2 Sleep” to scare our brains into submission. Imagine a world in which every time you tried to check your phone one last time late at night, the soothing sounds of Ludacris and Three 6 Mafia magically come on to remind you that you’re making a terrible decision.
“Dreams” by The Game
The title isn’t the only reason why The Game’s Kanye West-produced hit single is a fantastic choice for the bedroom. The laid back nature of West’s production is enough to soothe anyone into a deep slumber. If that doesn’t work, however, you could always play music from one of Game’s last four albums. That should do the trick, too.
“Scared of the Dark” by Lil Wayne featuring Ty Dolla $ign & XXXTENTACION
The bedroom isn’t always a place of comfort. With that, Lil Wayne’s “Scared of the Dark” has a two-pronged effect. On the one hand, hearing Ty Dolla $ign chant about not being afraid of the dark might bring you just enough comfort before turning the lights out to relax and fall asleep. On the other hand, this song is pretty terrible, and maybe if your Alexa starts playing it, you’ll realize it’s just easier to sleep on the couch for the night. Problem solved.
“Hot Shower” by Chance The Rapper
The only pure joy of being in the bathroom are those first, few, precious seconds of hot water hitting our bodies in the shower. A hot shower can be a place for relaxation, deep thought, shower radio singing, or even an escape from the coldness of the world. Just like a song, a hot shower only lasts for so long before we have to get out, and it’s somewhat pleasant to have a song as bubbly and warm as Chance’s to capture that feeling.
“Ice Water” by Raekwon
On the other end of the spectrum is an experience we’ve all unfortunately had, and it’s the nightmarish realization that we just jumped in a shower, or put our hands under a sink, with no hot water. Ice cold water in the bathroom can serve its purpose, too, with everything from a cold splash to wake up in the morning to cleaning your child’s cuts and scrapes when they get hurt. Plus, your kids should be listening to Raekwon. It’s best to start them early.
“Slippery” by Migos
A bathroom is a dangerous place. It’s best to have a song at the ready to remind you of the hazard you’re willingly walking into several times a day. Bath. Mats.
“Hold On, We’re Going Home” by Drake
Are you ready for me to ruin this song for you? There isn’t one among us who hasn’t been out in public when that ill-fated feeling sets in their stomach and realized nature would be calling real soon. “Hold On, We’re Going Home,” featuring OVO tent city dwellers Majid Jordan, isn’t just a love song anymore, but a reassurance that, while your need for a bathroom is rapidly growing with every passing second, your private space is only a few minutes away.
“Foldin Clothes” by J. Cole
Seeing how this J. Cole song is too corny to serve any other purpose, putting it on while doing laundry is literally its best (read: only) function.
“Change Clothes” by JAY-Z
An apt reminder of the most common laundry mistake: forgetting to switch the clothes in the washer to the dryer. Rather than have all your clothes reek of mildew, follow the instructions laid out by Hov and Pharrell; change the clothes in each machine, and go.
“So Fresh, So Clean” by OutKast
Doing laundry, while not as bad as doing the dishes, mostly sucks. Yet, the payoff is in the final product where all of your hard work comes out smelling, well, fresh, and clean.
“This Is Why I’m Hot” by MIMS
A song perfectly designed to encapsulate how refreshing it feels to slip on something right out of the dryer. Just behind a hot shower, putting on a warm shirt or pair of pants out of the dryer is nearly unmatched in brief moments of bliss your house can provide you. It’s only right that one of the great one-hit wonders of the 2000s is there to hype you up.
“Fine China” by Juice WRLD & Future
The most important aspect of a proper dining room is the dinnerware used in it. You only bring people into your dining room when you’re trying to impress, and when it’s time to bring out the expensive plates and soup dishes, you better have a song to give you the confidence to pull it off.
“Chandelier” by Shoreline Mafia
A lovely chandelier is not a given, but when you have one hanging from the ceiling, you can’t squander the opportunity to impress your guests by not having a record ready to point out its beauty. You bought a fucking chandelier, my friend. Make them notice it.
“Still Serving” by 21 Savage & Offset
A dining room isn’t a dining room until the host won’t stop bringing out new items to eat or drink, or a guest begins to question how much more small talk he or she can stomach. Enter “Still Serving” by 21 Savage. Nothing keeps the mood consistent like a song that reminds everyone, no matter how many meals they think they had, there’s going to be one more coming.
“Pound Cake” by Drake
Look, eating cake is the only saving grace to a drawn-out dinner party, a stressful first dinner among a couple’s families, or any other anxiety-inducing dining room experience. Cake is the holy grail of dining rooms, and if you survive sitting in one long enough, you’re guaranteed to eat some. Why not have JAY-Z incessantly rapping “cake” to cheer you to the bottom of the plate?