Best/Worst of the Week: Bronson Eats, DJ Khaled Yells Fatly & More - DJBooth

Best/Worst of the Week: Bronson Eats, DJ Khaled Yells Fatly & More

Author:
Publish date:
khaled-one.jpg

Listen, it's Friday, we get it. Nobody really wants to do anything that involves using your brain. So "Best/Worst" will provide you with both the biggest Fails and the most awesome awesomeness, as well as some of the best (and worst) music of the week. It's a whole lot of everything.

Now let's get started...

Best of The Week:

Daaaaaa Bronson:
You know when you think back to how you used to be - that awful haircut or shirt, what were you doing? That's how I feel every time Action Bronson does something cool; which is all the fucking time. It's so hard to believe there was a point where I wasn't an Action Bronson fan; what the fuck was I thinking? The guy is hands down one of all-around coolest emcees around, and his rapping ain't bad either. While 9-21-11 is Bluth bananas, what really makes me love AB is how he acts off the mic. Case in point, Fuck That's Delicious; he just literally eats great food all the time; each meal he has is the greatest meal ever. Food shows are the worst, but Fuck That's Delicious is amazing. Specifically, the episode where he eats at Mike Ditka's restaurant...with Mike Ditka. I feel like these two should get along. They are both kind of curmudgeons, both tough guys and both love food. How could they not be best friends right? Take a look: 

Clearly though, Ditka wants just absolutely nothing to do with Bronson. From the second Bronson waddled over Ditka had this, "What the fuck is going on with this dude?" look on his face. Did anybody give him a heads up that Action Bronson is Action Bronson because Ditka is throwing nothing but old man shade the whole time; Action even says he loves Sinatra and Ditka was still unimpressed. Meanwhile Bronson just chowing down, not even giving a fuck because he has a giant plate of pot roast nachos in front of him. Bronson's life is absurd. He travels the world, rapping and eating the best food. How can you not love Action Bronson?

P.S. Expert #BeardGang move holding back the beard when he eats, right Nathan?

The Senate is DOOMed:
Confession time. I am not the biggest DOOM fan. I mean don't get me wrong I respect the fuck out of him, but his music just doesn't hit me the way it does some people. Don't hate me, I hate myself enough for it already. He's one of those artist I want to love but just can't get into and I don't really have a solid reason why. Still, just because I don't wear a mask to sleep doesn't mean I cant appreciate a little hip-hop history. Here's a 19-year-old, unmasked DOOM, testifying  in front of senate in 1991; what were you doing at 19?

This stuff is so cool to me. Like here is a 19-year-old hip-hop producer, killin' it in front of some of the most powerful people in the Nation. This was way back in '91 - before Illmatic - before hip-hop was really a force like it is today, and here he is on a huge stage representing hip-hop. He has to be the first hip-hop artist to testify at a Senate hearing right? Plus, he's not wearing a mask, so there's that. Although, I have to admit, it would have been cooler if he was.

P.S. If I was going to force myself to listen to Doom, where should I start?

Best Music of The Week:

Anderson Paak's Venice album is out-fucking-standing. Literally the perfect weekend soundtrack. Listen or I hate you. Seriously GO GET THAT SHIT! It's phenomenal music.

Worst of The Week:

EBOLA:

DJBooth Nation knows how we feel about the fat guy who yells, because, well, we call him the fat guy who yells. And this video? This video right here? Hide the women and children.  

First and foremost....

"HOLD YOU DOWN" ISN'T THE NUMBER ONE RECORD ON THE COUNTRY YOU EGOMANIAC!!!!

It's not the number one song in the country, it's not even the number one urban song. He actually has the number one most played urban song on radio, which is like screaming about being a Super Bowl champion because you handed out Gatorade. It's not technically lying, but it's pretty damn close. Although the truly crazy part, I bet he doesn't even know. He might really believe he's number one. He probably also thinks he won every Grammy ever. Don't tell me your record is number one when it's clearly not. Like, I can check that. In fact I did. Know what I found? DJ Khaled has the same amount of number one songs as me and you.  If Drake isn't going to get you one, I doubt August Alsina is going to get you one.

Honestly though, if you can make it through all 12 minutes you are truly one of god's children. But for those who do stick it out, I hope you like the image of DJ Khaled, the human manatee, humping some poor woman and rubbing shampoo all over his man titties in slow motion. And yes, that literally happens. I won't ever be able to un-see that. 

That's not Whuzzzup:
Speaking of guys I hate who look like Mr. Potato Head, French Montana is also the worst. He also made an awful video this week. Now, it's not 12 minutes long like Khaled's self-indulgent blabbering, but the last 15 seconds are by far the single worst thing you will ever hear in your life. Here's French Montana doing a spoof of a commercial that was popular 15 years ago.

Seriously, that sound is playing on loop in hell. What the hell is he doing anyway? 90% of his fan base wasn't even born when that commercial came out. Is this supposed to be funny? I hate him, I hate him so much.

Worst Music of The Week:

This is the homeless man's version of Ice JJ Fish, which no, is not compliment. Enjoy!!!

Comment Of The Week:

Shameless self-plug alert. This week I got high, played FIFA and listened to music for my "job", prompting the vowel-boycotting SLKKKJMS to write: 

"When I grow up, I want to be just like Lucas."

Thanks, I'll let you know what it's like when I do grow up. Have a very dope weekend everyone, DJBooth Nation is the greatest!

[Lucas Garrison is a writer for DJBooth.net. His favorite album is “College Dropout,” but you can also tweet him your favorite Migos songs at @LucasDJBooth.]

Related