Best/Worst of the Week: Insane ODB Stories & Funk Flex vs. JAY Z - DJBooth

Best/Worst of the Week: Insane ODB Stories & Funk Flex vs. JAY Z

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Listen, it's Friday, we get it. Nobody really wants to do anything that involves using their brain. So "Best/Worst" will provide you with both the biggest fails and the most awesome awesomeness, as well as some of the best (and worst) music of the week. And for all you hardcore "Best/Worst" fans out there, this week we're trying to narrow down each category to just one selection, so it really is the best of the best and the worst of the worst. 

Cool? Cool. Now let's get started...

Best of The Week:

Dust In The Wind:

If I'm being really, truly, totally 100% honest...I'm not an enormous Wu-Tang Clan fan. Don't get me wrong, I fucking love 'em - as a kid, I played so much Wu-Tang Shaolin Style my thumbs bled - but I was too young to really catch the moment when they blew up, and they're just aren't in my lane now.

But beyond just the music, they still are the most fascinating group in hip-hop history, and a large reason why is the late, great ODB. No deceased rapper, hell, no living rapper, has the reputation he does. As a kid, I didn't really know his music the way I did Pac or Big's, but I put ODB in that elite category based solely on the stories I'd heard. This documentary was where I truly began to appreciate the magic of Wu-Tang and ODB's flagrant disregard for rules and common behavior. These dudes truly don't give a motherfucking fuck about fucking anything and will fucking fuck your shit up faster than you can say fuck. Excuse all the curse words, but here they're fitting. Even for Wu-Tang, ODB was so next level. Method Man is a bad-ass, but ODB makes him look like Drake. Case in point (see below) this story Raekwon told that involves angel dust, ODB and exercise.

For most of these crazy ass stories involving rappers, I always think "damn I wish I was there." Not this one. Yeah, at first I thought, "Damn, it would have been cool to see," but the more I thought about it, the scarier actually being there sounds. Actually, you know what, I totally don't wish I was there; it sounds horrifying. Instead of enjoying it and partying right along with them, I'd probably be cowering in the corner in a puddle of my own urine as ODB and The Chef yell and scream and do push ups. I would be so viscerally uncomfortable, but I'd also be scared to leave because I wouldn't want Dirty to eat my face off.

When it comes to ODB stories, this might be the most balls crazy - like pure, unadulterated insanity - but I don't know if it's the best ODB story ever. I think these still have it beat...

ODB Takes The Mic from B.I.G.: How many fucking rappers could take the mic from arguably the GOAT and live to tell the tale? One. ODB. That's how much respect he commands.

ODB Pisses On LL Cool J's Plaque: No cameras, no Twitter beef, no press, just Dirty casually peeing on LL Cool J's record because that's how he rolled.

That time ODB almost blew himself up. Just imagine if he had died on stage at the VMA's...

And of course, no ODB breakdown is complete with out him picking up the welfare check in the limo.

This dust story is bananas, but to me the best Dirt Dirt Mcgirt story is the one about welfare check. I remember watching that on MTV, not really sure who ODB was, I didn't even know what welfare was, but I knew enough to remember that guy. Sitting in the my basement with my jaw on the floor is a vivid memory that has always stuck with me; I think it really shows ODB's power. RIP O.D.B.

Best Music of The Week:

Worst of The Week:

No Flex Zone:

Tyson vs. an infant, me vs. a Chipotle burrito, anyone vs. the Knicks; there are some fights that simply aren't fair. Usually, when it comes to rap beef, its between two artists. Maybe they are two heavyweights (Pac vs. Biggie) or maybe they are two artists nobody cares about (Azalea vs. Azealia), but either way you know it's a fair fight.  It's the one constant in an otherwise random, absurd, and sometimes truly awful world of rap beef.

So, when Funk Master Flex comes out and takes shots at JAY Z, I have to raise an eyebrow. I'll include the sound bites below, which are as absurd as they are loud and annoying, but basically Funk Flex thinks JAY stole his app idea - because welcome to hip-hop in 2015 - and called him a "commercial, corporate rapper" before claiming "this is my city" and giving JAY shit for not congratulating J. Cole on the album.

What is Funk Flex doing? First and foremost, he's mad at JAY for making an app when he was going to make an app? I guess Funk Flex is Steve Jobs now? Apparently he invented apps? It's perfectly and totally possible for both of you to have an app. I don't know who would actually download either one, but that shouldn't stop them from trying right? 

Or does this all stem from the rumor that JAY is buying Hot 97? Granted it was just a rumor, but Funk dissing what could be his future boss probably wasn't the best move. This beef is just so... weird. All of the sudden Flex is yelling at us about JAY Z. Plus, JAY may be corporate, but Funk Flex works for arguably the biggest hip-hop radio station in the world; he's not exactly Chance The Rapper here. For some reason this "beef" really irked me. I guess it's because I expect it from anyone with an "Aza" in their name, but Funk just sounds confused. The only good thing to come from all of this was Hannibal Buress' hilarious ethering of Funk Flex.

As always, the lesson here is God bless Hannibal Buress.

Worst Music Of The Week:

It's not a new song, but it quite possible may be the worst song ever. After hearing "Fingers Moving" from Wayne (one of the bright spots on the tape to me), I had to hear the original from Makonnen. That beat is so dope, I love "Tuesday," I thought maybe "Maneuvering" had potential. I was wrong. So very, very wrong. 

Comment of The Week:

The whole thread on the Lil Wayne piece is kind of balls crazy. I wrote the feature as a joke, expecting it to be a light, fun read but people really took that shit to heart. One minute I'm laughing at a vagina metaphor and the next I'm being personally attacked. I was just trying to have some fun! Isn't that what Lil Wayne is all about?! The ether came from  dagawdtho:

Just because you think his words suck, doesn't mean you should dumb the reasoning behind your opinions down to the quality that you perceive his lines to be at.

It's an insult to hip-hop, traditional and new-school, and only reinforces the stereotype that music writers are pretentious nerds in desperate need of an outlet where their thoughts will wield some, any, kind of value.

Jokes on you bruh bruh, I already know my thoughts wield no value. Take that! [Insert sound of 1 million Funk Flex bombs.] Victory is mine. 

Enjoy your weekend, DJBooth Nation!

[Lucas Garrison is a writer for DJBooth.net. His favorite album is “College Dropout,” but you can also tweet him your favorite Migos songs at @LucasDJBooth.]

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