Listen, it's Friday, we get it. Nobody really wants to do anything that involves using their brain. So "Best/Worst" will provide you with both the biggest fails and the most awesome awesomeness, as well as some of the best (and worst) music of the week. And for the hardcore "Best/Worst" fans out there who remember the old format, we're now narrowing down each category to one selection, so it really is the best of the best and the worst of the worst.
Cool? Cool. Now let's get started...
Best of The Week:Kenny OG
When I think of things that are the most hip-hopiest of the hop-hop, somewhere near the top is Warren G's "Regulate." It's been a more recent revelation for me - I never really appreciated it like I should - but "Regulate" is an incredible song. A beat that bounces like Tigger on bath salts and a great story, what more do you need?! When I think of things that are the least hip-hop, Kenny G is a top seed. He's softer than Jhene Aiko's whisper. He's the GOAT when it comes to "on hold" music. So what is he doing perofmaing with Warren G?!?!
Kenny G! Little ham and eggs coming at ya! Sure it's cool because opposites, but more than that, it's actually genuinely dope. Kenny G rips it; or whatever the smooth jazz equivalent of "ripping" is. You know what makes this even better? Not only is it further proof hip-hop is so broad and expansive, it proves it on a song sampling Michael McDonald (AKA my new mortal enemy). With a sample of his own song, Kenny and Warren are throwing it right in his stupid, bearded face! Did I mention fuck Michael McDonald? Put that in your sax and smoke it!
Best Music of The Week:
Murs is one of my favorite emcees. He's in my personal top five. Tech N9ne is also another one of my favorites. Murs rapping over a Tech N9ne flip makes me moist with delight. You often hear two great emcees together, but you rarely hear one sampled. Snake and Bat for life!
Worst of The Week: American Dumbass
I used to be a huge Kid Rock fan. I knew all the words to "Bawitdaba," I even just spelled it right in the first try, and "Cowboys" was my shit. It was around the time when I learned that the fan in my room wouldn't actually chop my finger off if I put my hand in it and I would eat Dunkaroos with no regard for human life. The point I'm trying to make is, if you like Kid Rock you are either 10-years-old or have a lower than normal IQ. Also, it's been a longggggggg time since Kid Rock was a relevant human being. Well, his historical run of irrelevance (kind of) ended this week when he decided to call out the name one of the most influential, powerful and popular artists in music; the one and only Beyonce. As music's go-to source for all thing hip-hop and R&B, Mr. Rock, last known for getting arrested in a Waffle House, took shots at the one and only Queen B. Word to Complex:
"Beyoncé, to me, doesn't have a fucking 'Purple Rain,' but she's the biggest thing on Earth. How can you be that big without at least one 'Sweet Home Alabama' or 'Old Time Rock & Roll'? People are like, 'Beyoncé's hot. Got a nice fucking ass.' I'm like, 'Cool, I like skinny white chicks with big tits.' Doesn't really fucking do much for me."
I love Beyonce's booty as much as the next person, but that has nothing to do with my anger here. Booty aside, Beyonce makes incredible music. She cranks out hit-after-hit and here Kid Rock, who hasn't had a successful record that wasn't stolen from "Sweet Home Alabama" in more than a decade, is acting like the fucking gatekeeper of music. The only way he could get on Billboard is if he bought space on the one next to the Denny's off Route 95. Beyonce's worst hit would be a career milestone for Kid Rock; where is your fucking "Purple Rain"????
Basically, he's saying she isn't a big deal because she isn't Prince, nor did make a classic rock song. If that's the criteria, how can anyone ever be successful ever? He may not like her, but when someone drops a surprise album, and essentially changes the way music is released, that's impact. You? You are a two-bit country star who couldn't hack it as a rapper, so you settled on pop country. Motherfucker, you're biggest hit was co-written by Uncle Kracker. UNCLE KRACKER?!?!?! This guy?! Your most popular (and only?) album sold 9,300,000 copies in 17 years. Beyonce's last album sold more than half of that in less than a year. Even 10 year old me now retroactively hates you Kid Rock. You come at the Queen, you best not miss!
Worst Music of The Week:
Shout out to Rita Ora for giving arguably the most generic performance of the most generic song ever. That was cornier than my Chipotle burrito. It wasn't like awful, but there as not a single memorable moment about it. When the lasers are the best part of the whole thing, you know you have a problem.
Comment of The Week:
As someone who knows what spending a million hours on an absurd investigation can do to you, I was super impressed at Nathan's ability to dig through every girl Drake mentioned. It's the truly dedicated ones who devote their time to things nobody else would dedicate their time too. Also in that elite list is DJBooth resident Mad Blk Man. He managed to go even further down the rabbit hole, impressing both Nathan and I, who spend most of our time plummeting down rap vortexes. Congrats you crazy son of a bitch!
Got a girl, she from the South / Used to work, used to dance in Texas, now she clean the house."
From my knowledge her name is Lira Galore. She was a dancer in Houston at, I want to say at VLive (Which he also made a reference to on his mixtape/album). She was a part of the Vicious Vixens model agency with Jhonni Blaze.
Back in early October of last year some reports came out about Drake. The first was news of him dating Lira. The other (only separated by a few days) was the Jhonni Blaze accusation. Now, the funny thing about those two is that they worked under the same modeling agency by the name of "Vicious Vixens." Which is basically just a model agency representing dancers/strippers/video girls. Apparently, Jhonni Blaze and Lira Galore have never gotten along. So Lira was dating Patrick Beverly for a little bit until Drake came and snatched her away (which didn't leave Patty Bev too happy from what I was told). Well, while Drake was snatching up Lira, he was double dipping with Jhonni. Some believe Jhonni spoke out against him out of spite which doesn't seem too far out of character for her considering her past. Regardless, Lira ended up moving to Toronto with Drake and to my knowledge she's still living there. Hence the line...
"Got a girl, she from the South / Used to work, used to dance in Texas, now she clean the house."
Have a great weekend, Booth Nation!
[Lucas Garrison is a writer for DJBooth.net. His favorite album is “College Dropout,” but you can also tweet him your favorite Migos songs at @LucasDJBooth.]