Listen, it's Friday, we get it. Nobody really wants to do anything that involves using their brain. So "Best/Worst" will provide you with both the biggest Fails and the most awesome awesomeness, as well as some of the best (and worst) music of the week. It's a whole lot of everything.
Now let's get started...
Best Of The Week:
Good Kid, o.n.e Album:
Without question, the most anticipated album in rap right now is Kendrick's sophomore major label release. We all know hip-hop's history with leaks, so I would imagine that his album is saved on a computer surrounded by armed guards, dogs, and an angry Jay Rock; there is no way that album sees the light of day until Kendrick is good and ready, right? WRONG! There is one copy and it belongs to Kendrick's 10-year-old brother.
“You’re gonna have to go through my little brother,” said Kendrick regarding the availability of his new album. While everyone thought Kendrick was joking around, the Compton rapper changed his tone to convey his seriousness. ”He’s 10 years-old. No, real talk. He has it. He has the album and he told me what he likes. ”
“That’s my A&R right there,” said Kendrick paying homage to his little brother. “He has a sophisticated ear. He’s in somebody’s elementary [school] right now knowing all the lyrics. Telling em’, ‘Watch.’”
Yeah, it's cool that Kendrick would give his album to his brother with zero fucks given. Yeah, it's cool to think about him being the most popular kid in school - if he was eight years older he would have it made - but there is one fact that really makes this truly awesome; Kendrick's album is a real thing and is basically done. Thanks to Jay Elec and Dre, I'm always skeptical of news about the completion of a major album. A large part of me has been thinking Kendrick's album won't be out for another six months to a year (because rap), but now that Kendrick's brother has the one and only copy, I'm starting to think it might come sooner rather than later. Also, I have no basis for it, but I totally trust Kendrick's brother. If he says it's dope, I'm on board. I'm officially ready for Kendrick's new album. Now it's time to apply for teaching jobs at various schools in the L.A. area; he's gotta be at one of them, right?
Normally, this space would be reserved for some Dilla news or whatever Kanye did this week, but today, we are going to take a step away from the rap world. What is so cool, so pants-shittingly, mind-blowingly awesome that we would miss a chance to rap nerd out? Space. Space is that awesome. WE LANDED A MOTHERFUCKING SATELLITE ON AN ASTEROID!!!!!
- European Space Agency's Rosetta space probe on Wednesday successfully deployed its robotic lander Philae on the Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. This is the first time a spacecraft has ever landed on the surface of a comet. The mission was ten years in the making.
- March 2, 2004: Europe's unmanned probe Rosetta takes off from Kourou, French Guiana, after a series of delays, including an abandoned January 2003 launch window because of a rocket problem.
- Feb. 25, 2007: Rosetta carries out a close flyby of Mars. European Space Agency's mission control breaks out in applause after the end of 15 tense minutes of radio silence as the craft passes behind the Red Planet.
- Sept. 5, 2008: Probe successfully passes close to an asteroid 250 million miles from Earth. The spacecraft loses its radio signal for 90 minutes as planned during the flyby of the Steins asteroid, also known as Asteroid 2867.
- July 10, 2010: Between Mars and Jupiter, Rosetta transmits its first pictures from the largest asteroid ever visited by a satellite after it flies by Lutetia as close as 1,900 miles (3,200 kilometers). It is the closest look to date at the Lutetia asteroid.
- Jan. 20, 2014: Waking after almost three years of hibernation, Rosetta sends its first signal back to Earth. Systems had been powered down in 2011 to conserve energy, leaving scientists in the dark for 31 months.
- Aug. 6, 2014: Rosetta swings alongside comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko somewhere between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter.
- Nov. 12, 2014: The probe releases the Philae lander and it drops to the comet's surface. Seven hours later, Philae touches down on the comet.
Yo. Stop and think about that for a second. This group of really smart humans, who live on Earth, landed a tiny robot-thingy on a space rock hurling through the cosmos 250 million miles away. My brain can't even fathom where you start on this endeavor and honestly I don't even want to try or my brain might explode. It took them ten years. Imagine working on one thing for ten years knowing that at any moment, you may lose a decade of work? I think a lot about producers being left in the dark about placements, well these scientists went 31 months without knowing if they would ever receive a signal. Three years of not knowing whether or not that thing you just spent the last nine years working on will ever be heard from again. You can make another beat, you only get one spaceship. I can't even imagine the joy when they landed it. Oh wait I can.
Best Music of the Week:
Real talk, I've listened to Tommy Cash more than anyone else this week.
Worst Of the Week:
Khaled is back with a vengeance. Two weeks in a row?! Apparently all he does is win...worst of the week. Last week, he made us cringe by taking off his shirt and being a ostentatious boob. This week he's opening for Spooky Black...at least he has a shirt on.
We all know the feeling of sitting through a shitty opener - hey at least you have the headliner to hold on to - but what do you do when the headliner is even more shitty than the opener. Leave. None of these people deserve a Spooky Black/Khaled show which, surely, is a fate worse than death. On the other hand, if you pay money to see Spooky Black, you probably deserve to also have to see Khaled. Also, how fucking cocky is he for saying, "Sing my shit?" Um, that's T-Pain's shit. Khaled is like guy that never buys a gift but will slip in a "that's from both of us."
The Butt Stops Here:
Do I really need to provide the backstory? I think we all know what I'm talking about....
I didn't even want to include the photos. I don't want to include the tweets, memes, Vines, spoofs, any of it. Shit. I don't even want to write this, but the fact is I have to because it's such a big story; that's the worst part about all of this. I'm left with no choice. We all know the pictures. Why do we still give Kim all this attention? It's not just a fake butt, it's an event and it needs to stop. That goes for the people making fun of it, too. Oh look, a fat guy posing like Kim Kardashian, how original. Only everybody on the internet has done it.
All the attention, positive and negative just feeds into the Kardashian blackhole. Just stop talking about it. Stop. We shouldn't give them any more attention they don't deserve. We landed a god damn satellite on a spaceship, and yet, Kim K's butt - which may or may not have a gravitational pull of its own - gets more attention. Imagine if the world cared about space as much as they care about a picture of half a butt. So I'm officially calling for a DJBooth Kim K. boycott. No more Kim K news unless it revolves around Kanye.
Okay...this one was good though.
Worst Music of The Week:
Just when you thought you were back in, he throws you right out! Any excitement you may have had for Tha Carter V is now gone thanks to "Off Day."
Comment Of The Week:
Everyone from Estonia who commented on the Tommy Cash Piece. We can debate the legitimacy of Tommy as a rapper, but it's pretty cool that he was able to connect DJBooth nation with Estonia. Seriously, how cool is it we can talk to someone half way across the world about trap music? Hip-hop is the fucking best. Welcome to DJBooth, Nation Estonia!
Yes, this is a thing, and yes, he's real! In a sense, I guess. It's not like some sort of a "prank", at least. I mean, it's mostly a persona he cultivates, but no-one can really tell where the border between real and acted (between person and performance) lies. I've met the guy too, he's kinda just like a weird young dude. He probably acts crazier than he really is. And he's actually pretty well known in Estonia.
Have a Tommy Cash-filled weekend everyone!
[Lucas Garrison is a writer for DJBooth.net. His favorite album is “College Dropout,” but you can also tweet him your favorite Migos songs at @LucasDJBooth.]