From Booty to Bieber, we feel strongly about a great many things that nobody in their right mind would feel strongly about. That's why we do it; we care so you don't have to and if you do care, join us on the dark side. Though we may have opinions on everything, there are only a select few things that we feel passionate enough to ban. Maybe it's something important like
or maybe it's a certain Canadians' pet project that I'm not exactly sure why we can't say their name but Nathan hates them, so I don't say it. Perhaps the most famous ban is on
, who must always be referred to as "the fat guy who yells" on some real Voldemort type shit.
Well, after the balls crazy, Kanye-esque announcement of a new album (and song with Jay Z), I took it on myself to temporary lift the ban as a show of diplomatic good will (take notes Russia) because who better to profile five songs even the haterz love, than a man who's name must not be said?
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"All I Do Is Win"
This one is interesting. I don't
like it nor do I think it is a great song, but in the right circumstances "All I Do Is Win" is doper than Pusha T watching Scarface. Seriously, it's pretty much a requirement at sporting events (it would totally be on "Jock Jams") and it's perfect for the gym. The beat fucking knocks and each emcee is really passionate (Snoop is about as passionate as he gets) and T-Pain's hook is insane. Not a great song, but fuck if it doesn't go hard as shit.
"I'm So Hood
I feel like I could say the exact same thing I said for "All I Do Is Win" as "I'm So Hood"--it does have Ross and Pain after all--but the main difference is I genuinely like "I'm So Hood". Sure it's good for a sporting event or the gym, but to me, it's more than that; I could listen to this more situations than I should feel comfortable doing so; trying to relax at home, first date, funeral, you name it. I really think T-Pain is the most important ingredients when it comes to these Khaled songs with 9,000 average emcees on them. I can tolerate Plies because I know that hook is coming and is so much fun to sing along with. The hook keeps the energy up an makes an otherwise quality-starved song a winner. To be fair, Khaled is pretty good at taking anyone who is popular at the time and making them tolerable no mater how bad they are.
"I'm On One"
For as much hate as we give Khaled, he really has nothing to do with how I feel about a song. Don't get me wrong the beats are important, but for me, it's all about which emcees are on the track. Khaled is good at getting that extravagant, ignant side of me out, but he can only do so much. I really like this effort, but Lil Wayne's verse is just god awful. Although, I do really like Ross on it which I guess evens things out. Drake fucking kills this song and that hook is unforgettable. Notice a trend here? Khaled has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not I like a song.
Khaled is responsible for some of the biggest bangers of the the last decade and, for me at least, "We Takin Over" is where it all started. Khaled has the formula down to a fine science. A high-octane beat, one solid rapper blended with a few bad ones, and a hook-expert (T-Pain, Drake, Akon); combine 'em all and you get a explosive Khaled cut. That's why I love "Grammy Family" it;s like the exact opposite. Instead of Baby Bash or Plies it's Consequence. Instead of Drake or Lil' Wayne it's Kanye and instead of Akon or T-Pain it's John Legend. Basically this is the song I wish he would make over and over again instead of the other ones. Really cool beat and some Kanye; what more do you need? I don;t feel guilty liking this one like I do with the others; it feels like a real song.
You might cringe at the thought of the fat guy who yells making a song called "Hip-Hop" (shades of "I Feel Like Pac / I Feel Like Biggie Lyrics") but this one is actually hip-hop to the core. Nas, Scarface,
DJ DJ Premier?! I could produce this song and it would still knock. Still let's give credit to Khaled here because this is one hell of a song. I don't know how much he did-it was also produced by J.U.S.T.I.C.E League- but it's his song so I'll give him credit. For all you backpackers who are too scared to admit you love any of the other songs mention this one is for you. This shit is real, no-nonsense hip-hop and it's fucking epic.
As much as we shit on Khaled, he kind of has my dream job. Imagine getting to pick which emcees and producers you want to work together and having the means to make it happen; would be pretty exciting. For a guy who has limited talent outside of yelling things on the intro of a song, Khaled has certainly done well for himself. I can't say it makes me like him, but doing this showed me that the man does know how to put together a surefire hit...still won't say his name from here on out though.
[Lucas Garrison is a writer for DJBooth.net and RefinedHype. He does not have a beard. You can tweet him your favorite Migos songs at