I know everyone's favorite series that doesn't involve

almost naked wome

n has been on hiatus for a minute, but what better way to break the drought than by publishing a list of show prices a booking agent (who shall go nameless) sent me. Lord knows how I end up on these mailing lists, but every so often a diamond in the rough pops up. This is one of them.

Some quick notes before we get to it. There's about 100 more artists on the original list, many of whom I'd never heard of (Bigg Jigg anyone?), so I tried to pare it down to recognizable names. Some people might get a little angry that I'm putting this out there, too bad. My notes on each price bracket follows the listing. And for those who don't know, a "rider" is a the shit an artist gets at the venue (their own dressing room, 10 bottles of Patron, etc.) and "all inclusive" means the venue pays for hotel and flight. Got it? Now let's do this thing.

0-$5000

Montana Fishburne Call for pricing or OBO

Kia Shine $2,000-$4,000 Plus Rider

Kat Stacks $3,000 Plus Rider

Tabi Bonney $3,000 -$3,500Plus Rider

2 Pistols $3,500-$4,500 Plus Rider

Joe Budden $3,500-$5,500 Plus Rider

Lil Chuckee $3,500.00-$5,000.00 Plus Rider

Mack Maine $3,500.00-$5,000.00 Plus Rider

Jae Millz $4,000-$5500 Plus Rider

Pastor Troy $4,500 All inclusive

Project Pat $4,500 Plus Rider

DJ Unk $5,000 Plus Rider

Shop Boyz $5,000 Plus Rider

Shawnna $5,000 Plus Rider OBO

Curren$y $5,000 Plus Rider OBO

It's shocking to see Budden down here with the Kat Stacks and Lil Chuckees of the world. Who the hell would pay the Shop Boyz to do anything? Curren&y might want to wait to buy that "Knight Rider" whip until he gets out of the bottom bracket.

$5,500-$10,000

Ace Hood $5,500 Plus Rider

Dorrough $5,500-$6,500 Plus Rider

Mims $5,500 Plus Rider

AZ $5,500-$8,000 Plus rider

Cali Swag District $5,500.00 - $10,500 Plus Rider

Young Dro $5,500.00 Plus Rider

Lil Flip $6,000 Plus Rider

Young Buck $6,000 Plus Rider

Montel Jordan $6,000-$13,500 Plus Rider

Slim of 112 $6,000-$9,000 Plus Rider

Mannie Fresh $6,000-$12,000 Plus Rider

Teairra Mari $6,500 Plus Rider

Twista $7,000 Plus Rider

Tony Yayo $7,000 Plus Rider

Jeremih $8, 000 Plus Rider

Styles P $8,000 Plus Rider

Paul Wall $8,000 Plus Rider and Travel

Tyga $8,000 Plus Rider OBO

Slim Thug $8,000.00 Plus Rider

OJ The Juiceman $8,500 - $9,000 Plus Rider

Juvenile $9,000- $11,000 Plus Rider

Shawty Lo $9,000-$10,000 Plus Rider

Maino $9,000-$10,000 Plus Rider

Gorilla Zoe $9,000-$10,0000 All In

Note to self: Save up 12 grand, hire Montell Jordan and Slim of 112 for a party. Tearra Mari's still doing anything? If Budden seed OJ's making more than him his head's going to explode. I would have thought Paul Wall could do better.

$10,000-$25,000

Mystikal $10,000-$16,000 Plus Rider

E-40 Rap $10,000 Plus Rider

Sheek Louch $10,000 Plus Rider

Roscoe Dash $10,000-$16,000 Plus Rider

Lloyd Banks $11,000 Plus Rider

Amber Rose $11,000 Plus Rider

Bobby V $11,000-$15,000 Plus Rider

Trina $11,000-$15,000 Plus Rider

8Ball & MJG ]$11,000-$15,000 Plus Rider

Wiz Khalifa $11,000-$16,000 Plus Rider

Rocko $11,000-13,000 Plus Rider

DJ Jazzy Jeff $13,000 Plus Rider

Wiz Khalifa $12,000-16,000 Plus Rider and Travel

Avant $12,500 -$17,500 Plus Rider

Jagged Edge $12,500-$20,000 OBO Plus Rider

Fat Joe $13,000-$16,000 Plus Rider

Jim Jones $13,000-15,500 Plus Rider

Michael Vick $15,000 - $20,000 Plus Rider

Lloyd $15,000 -$17,500 Plus Rider

Bun B $15,000-$17,000 Plus Rider

Pleasure P $15,000-$20,000 Plus Rider

Raheem DeVaughn $15,000-20,000 Plus Rider

Jadakiss $15,500-$25,000 Plus Rider

Juelz Santana $16,000 Plus Rider

Jadakiss $16,000 Plus Rider

Ginuwine $16,000-$20,000 Plus Rider

Lil Jon $16,000-$27,500 Plus Rider

Ray J $17,500 Plus Rider

Melanie Fiona R&B $20,000-$25,000 Plus Rider

Who the hell is paying Pleasure P that kind of money? Now I see how Wiz can afford to spend a few thousand a month on weed. Good for Jazzy Jeff. If you hire Rocko you should be immediately deported.

$25,000-$50,000

Mya $22,000 Plus Rider

Joe $22,000 Plus Rider

The Game $22,000 Plus Rider

Charlie Murphy $25,000 Plus rider

Waka Flocka $25,000 Plus Rider

Fabolous $30,000-$35,000 Plus Rider

Bruno Mars $32,500 Plus rider

Yo Gotti $30,000 Plus rider

The Dream $35,000 Plus Rider

B.O.B. $35,000-$65,000 Plus Rider

Keith Sweat $37,500 PlusRider

Mike Epps $45,000 Plus Rider

Soulja Boy $40,000-$45,500 Plus Rider

Taio Cruz $42,500 Plus Rider

Plies $45,000 All Inclusive

Monica $45,000 Plus Rider

Dipset $45,000 Plus Rider

Who knew Mya still commanded that kind of money? And the same goes for Joe. Dipset is booking as a group? You'd think Fabolous and Dream would be worth more. $35,000-$65,000? That's quite a swing for B.o.B. What does the extra 30 grand get you?

$50,000+

Mike Posner $55,000 Plus Rider

Kid Cudi $55,000 Plus Rider

Gucci $55,000-$75,000 Plus Rider

Young Jeezy $60,000-$85,000 Plus Rider

Ludacris Rap $80,000-$100,000 Plus Rider

The O Jays $80,000- $100,000 Plus Rider

Mike Posner?!? What? How on Earth did he get in here? I know he's popular right now, but that popular? What is going on here? He makes as much as Luda? What??? I feel like I'm on crazy pills. But I don't want to end on a negative note, so shout out to the O-Jays. Good to know classic music pays so well.