I know a lot of you will cringe to hear this, but my breakdown of the lyrical genius that is Krispy Kreme has solicited more emails than any piece I've ever done. Yes, even more than that one time I wrote about Rihanna's titties. There's no denying it, there's just something about Mr. Kreme that fascinates people. And by "something", I mean a dude in a bowl cut rapping about killing a great white shark.
But while I was content lazy enough to let the Krispy story sit as it was, some of my more intrepid interwebs brethren started investigating Krispy like it was the JFK assassination, and what they found seems to prove that Krispy is a hoax.
According to RefinedHype reader Mike Kaikai, Krispy Kreme is in fact named Tyler Cassidy. And far from being some confused hick, Cassidy attended Grand Blanc high school in Michigan, where he graduated in 2008 with a 3.95 GPA.
So yes, myself and everyone else who thought that Krispy was "real", were fooled by Cassidy. In many ways though, the revelation that Krispy is in fact a reasonably successful kid from suburban Michigan only invites more questions. Why would someone with I'd assume some legitimate options spend that much time and energy creating a false persona, especially one so ridiculous?
Kaikai's hypothesis is that he's actually a more serious artist, but like Lil B did, he's using ridiculous viral videos as way to get people familiar with his name, then hit them with the deep shit. As evidence, he offered up "The Pain", "Wasteland" and "Forever", three tracks reportedly recorded before Cassidy adopted the Krispy Kreme moniker:
Well then, first and foremost I should admit that I was fooled. I really did believe that Krispy Kreme was real, in retrospect probably because the idea that a human being like this actually existed was so fascinating, I wanted it to be real.
If there's a lesson to be learned from this, and sweet baby jesus help me if I'm learning life lessons from a kid named Krispy Kreme, is that in the interwebs era, is that the line between "real" and "fake", especially in hip-hop, is so blurred it's almost meaningless. That's true for everyone from Rick Ross to the most lowly YouTube rappers. Remember: 95% of all rappers don't rap under their "real" names.
Hip-Hop's always been about adopting a persona, about taking the "real" parts of yourself and making them as big and loud and larger-than-life as possible. Cassidy clearly isn't a mentally challenged rapper from Alabama, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's not a confused, lonely and unpopular kid. I don't know about your high school, but a high GPA wasn't exactly a guarantee of popularity.
The truth, whatever that is, seems to be that Cassidy is a white smart suburban kid whose parents banned rap from his house, but who still harbored real dreams of hip-hop stardom, dreams that will realistically never happen, just like Krispy Kreme...
So are those "real" tears from man pretending to be someone else? Maybe, who knows. Part of me wants to track down Cassidy, interview him, find out how how this kid becomes this kid. Let's be real, that's just not something normal, balanced people do.
But instead I'm cutting my loses. Krispy Kreme Tyler, it's been real, best of luck figuring out your life. Trust me, it's not easy for anyone. But there are rappers out there who aren't (completely) pretending to be other people that deserve time on these pages. On the plus side, I always have these memories....
p.s. Actually....I can't let this go without saying I've also uncovered Money Maker Mike's identity. Meet Tyler Newby.
UPDATE: Watch Krispy Kreme get the Tosh 2.0 treatment.
See Also: Going Deep Inside the World of Krispy Kreme, My New Favorite Rapper