Today I was listening to the Juan Epstein interview with ScHoolboy Q when Q mentioned that he once fell asleep on that lean during an interview. Sure enough, Rosenberg was able to find the clip in seconds because if you enter "ScHoolboy Q" into Google, one of the first suggested search is "ScHooboy Q falls asleep."
And THEN, because I like to make everything about me, I remembered how I did a Google rapper search breakdown one time and clearly need to do another, because there's actually no more objective, better way to find out what people truly think about a rapper then to look through their Google suggested searches.
It'll all make sense once you see it, I promise. Let's go...
I was just reading about King Los leaving Bad Boy, had Diddy one the mind, so sure, let's start with Senor Puffy. The first couple make sense, it's your typical gossip stuff. But after that....I mean, I know the man's not exactly a big bucket of hugs, but I never thought he was evil. Oh wait, what's that? A lot of people on the internet like to wear tinfoil hats and believe that Diddy sacrificed Biggie to a satanic cult?
Oh, well then. That makes complete sense now. Well, now that I'm thinking about Diddy and "Nobody", let's go with....
No curveballs here, pretty much what I expected; fake and fat. Although I'm not quite sure what all the people searching "Rick Ross is fat" are really looking for; pictures of him being fat?
Then again, "Rick Ross honey bun" is defintely in my Google search history, so maybe I'm not one to talk. Really the take away here is that Rick Ross has mitties (man titties) joke will never get old, and if/when they do, that'll be the day I retire from this here rap blogging. Moving on...
Ok, you got me, what the fuck is "Drake is the type"? Oh, that meme thing. I thought it was some song I'd never heard. I probably should have known that because the internet.
From there, he's apparently an ugly, fake Jew, one-third of which is just a fact and the other two-thirds are at the very least debateable. I can't speak to his realness, but personally I've always found his perpetual "one day stubble which probably actually took him a week to grow" rather alluring.
Let's move on before I get myself in (more) trouble. Since we just did a 2 Chainz article, let's take a gander at Tity Boi.
Easily the most interesting results we've gotten so far, which in a way pretty accurately sums up Chainz' career. I mean, who else could possibly get both "wack" and "best rapper alive" in his top five search results? Although I've got a hunch that last one is ironic.
Either way, he actually is pretty smart, and I'm pretty sure not gay.
Ouch. Just ouch.
The man does have a platinum album though, so there are at least a million people out there who don't think Macklemore is a wack douche. Looks like, surprise, anger drives a lot of what people look for on the internet. Let's end with the first random rapper I can think of.
Holy Sweet Baby Jesus, those are some weird results. One the other hand, it turns out that Chingy's actually now every bit as weird as those results might indicate. I'm just saying, stay woke dog, stay woke.
I could be here all day, believe me, but I've got to stop before I get sucked into a Google black hole and lose all faith in humanity. But if anyone out there in DJBooth Nation wants to share some of their favorite search results, have at it. Thanks interwebs!