At this point I'm convinced that
is only releasing mixtapes to give me "
" material. Well, in that case, thank you Weezy, I hear "
" loud and clear. I'm on it.
As always, these aren't lines that are merely bad, wack or in Weezy's case semi-nauseating (although I throw a couple of those in as bonuses), we're solely focused on lines that, you know, make no fucking sense. Examples of lyricism that defy the laws of physics, history, geography and just good ol' common sense.
Let's do the damn thing...
See I get it from Sosa, he got it from Frank / And Sosa alright, but I'm trying to meet Frank
but one that's so completely wrong - we've all seen the movie, right? Do I even have to say Sosa's the connect? - I have to assume Weezy's being wrong on purpose...for some unknown reason. Why would Wayne do a dyslexic version of "Scarface"? Who knows, why does he
? Some mysteries are best left to the philosophers.
: "I got a knife in my pocket if there's a fork in the road / I'm the Man of Steel, but I won't say what I stole."
Just a classic example of how Wayne's become a pun rapper; it doesn't matter if the line means anything, as long as there's some word play. Who needs a ghostwriter when you can just get all your raps from
for free? Sadly though, some people are easily impressed. (Yeah, I'm talking to you JrodTheGreatest, aka the guy in the YouTube comments who wrote, "u be batman an i be robin.. the bank DAM!." Just imagine the dude's reaction if Wayne ever said, "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."
"I wax that ass she make that Mr. Miyagi face"
Ok, this one technically makes sense, to the extent that Mr. Miyagi is a character from a movie who waxes things, but when you're doing
, things are not going well for your rap career. Although if we really want to dig into it, exactly what is the Mr. Miyagi face this chick is making?
? Ladies, for the record, if we're ever having sex and you make a Mr. Miyagi face, we're no longer having sex.
Bonus Pun Alert
: "It's curtains for these niggas I feel like some drapes."
So I said some crazy shit to her like: "What if you and I were just letters? / That be unfortunate we'd have to rob a fortune teller
In Weezy's defense, he did warn us that he's saying some crazy shit. In the context of the song, he's trying to throw a verbal smoke screen on a groupie who wants to know if he loves her. In that case, mission fucking accomplished, because I have no idea what being "just letters" even means, let alone what it has to do with the fortune telling part (pun alert).
I'm gonna have to try this one out in real life:
My Wife: "I thought you said you were making dinner tonight."
Me: "What if you and I were just letters?"
My Wife: "Are you drunk? Go make dinner."
Me: "Damn you Lil Wayne. DAMN YOU!!!"
"Way I'm Ballin"
"We hit the block dippin cuz the block hot / Record sales, ship it from the Hard Knox."
I know, I know, expecting
to make sense is like expecting Rick Ross to run a marathon, but this one's actually bothering me.
Or is it some wordplay on Fort Knox and
? If so, what does that have to do with record sales? Like...Hard Knox is the factory they're shipping their albums from?
: "Dressed up like a old lady, Uzi under my church dress." Makes sense, it's just hilarious to picture Lil Wayne dressed up like an elderly woman. My people with Photoshop skills, let's make it happen.
: Starting at around 2:15, there is no fucking way - I repeat, no fucking way - anyone can tell me what Future's singing. Dude sounds like
who just swallowed a bottle of Quaaludes.
"My new shoes is ass-kickers, she drink cum like she had hiccups"
Groupie: (Hiccups) "Ah damn, I've got the hiccups again."
Lil Wayne: "You should drink some cum, that always works."
Lil Wayne: "You know, drink some cum to make your hiccups stop. That's what everyone always says."
Groupie: "I thought (hiccups) you were supposed to get scared or or something."
Lil Wayne: "Nope, everyone knows cum drinking is the only hiccup cure that works. That's like...medical knowledge."
"Desert Eagle like dub Mojave / I get my work from Rico Suave."
You get your work
? What are you trying to push Weezy, bandannas? Leather vests with no shirt? QUIEN ES MAS MACHO? LIL WAYNE ES MAS MACHO.
: "Fuck all y'all niggas in Swahili nigga / Ain’t nothing free round here but Willy, nigga." As far as I can figure out, this line is the equivalent of "If I knew how to say 'fuck you' in Swahili I would, but I don't, so I'll just literally say 'fuck you in Swahili'". Is that about right?
Although I have to give it up to the man, that's the
of all-time ever.
"My nigga's like Kanye with that GOOD / My nigga's like Lou Rawls with that blow."
I know I've been talking a lot of shit here, but this is one I'm just genuinely trying to figure out. As far as I can tell, Lou Rawls didn't have a song or album referencing blow. Was he infamous for snorting cocaine? I feel like Weezy's making a legit reference I just don't get. RefinedHype Nation, help me out.
: "MLK would be proud of me, cause I do this shit for all my nigga's / Her mouth, pussy, or asshole, life is full of hard decisions." Yep, I'm sure MLK would just be brimming with pride. He and Emmett Till would be lining up to shake your hand.
: "I'm hard headed, Ocho / Dedication Cinco." No jokes, I seriously thought that was a dope line.
"Kidnap your niece, don't cry, call your uncle / We don't wanna hurt ya baby, we just want your uncle."
Ok, so, let's walk through this family tree. You kidnapped
niece, to get to
uncle, which would make his niece my sister? Of course, I just realized I'm assuming he's talking to "your" the entire time. Maybe after "kidnap your niece" he switches to talk to said niece, which would make more sense. Maybe.
My brain's clearly starting to leak out of my years, I think it's about time I signed off before I lose the will to live. Of course, if RefinedHype Nation has any lines they want to throw in, have at it. The complete project is below for your listening enjoyment...or whatnot.