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Who's the Worst Rapper Alive?


It's mid-November, which means every store in America is already trying to suck as much Christmas-related money out of your pocket as possible. It also means that everyone on the interwebs is starting to think about their "Year End" lists, including yours truly. But while I think about where "Run the Jewels" belongs in the album of the year discussion, I thought I'd seize a moment now to talk about a topic that in many ways is just as important, but will get lost if I try to do it in December. So for today's "Question of the Week", that's right, we're digging into that immortal question - Who's the Worst Rapper Alive?

Now, I know a lot of you are reflexively yelling out answers, but take a deep breath. Let's really think this shit through. Just like a Best Rapper Alive discussion, figuring out the Worst Rapper Alive is a complicated process that needs some definitions. So just like Best, I think we're really dealing with three criteria: 

1) Inherent Terribleness: Remove the fame and the name and the production and everything that's not literally the audio waves that came out of their mouths, were recorded, and then hit your eardrums. How terrible does it sound? In that sonic vacuum, while someone like Rick Ross isn't an elite rapper, I don't think he's at the bottom of the barrel either.  

2) Impact: If I serve some undercooked burgers at a BBQ that sucks, but only like ten people get sick. If McDonald's serves some undercooked burgers, thousands of people get sick. Exact same action, but McDonald's is worse. Similarly, some random dude on YouTube might be atrocious, but no big deal. Someone who's just as bad but is getting radio play, posted all the time on the interwebs, is setting trends, that's way worse. Interestingly, this might end up being an argument for Rick Ross, depending on much you blame him for the latest influx of luxury/fake gangster rap.  

3) Time: Remember, we're talking about right now. Not worst of all-time, November of 2013. For example, the last time I asked this question, in 2011, the winner/loser was Lil B. Now Lil B might still be in the running today, but I'd argue his impact score is way down from two years ago. There was a minute there when even mainstream media like MTV was talking about Lil B, it seems like that moment has passed. I'd also say the same for Soulja Boy, although feel free to argue otherwise.

So boom, there you have it. Combine all of those three factors, and whoever has the highest (or lowest, depending) total score is your new Worst Rapper Alive...if only it were that simple. In fact, in 2013 with the rise of "are they being terrible on purpose for the sake of comedy, or at they just terrible?" rappers, this question may be harder to answer than ever. 

With all that said, it's time to get to the specifics. For me, Lil B and Soulja Boy's impact scores aren't high enough to really place them in this discussion. I expect Future's name to get thrown out in the comments, and his impact is huge, but while I just don't dig his rapping, he's at least written some good songs. I'm sure there are 49 terrible dudes on Cash Money I've never head of, but by the same token their impact score is low. I wouldn't have said Rick Ross until I made the case in the "Impact" section, and now it's got me thinking...

But after much reflection, it's come down to two rappers for me: Tyga and French Montana. Fuck that's a close call. I don't understand why either of them rap, they've both had multiple hits and copiers, and if you remove videos filled with booty, aren't inherently entertaining. I've kind of grown to like French Montana as a person though, he's smarter than you'd think. On the other hand, at least Tyga can do a track without fourteen other guests. Ah.........I couldn't make up my mind until I came across this "Molly" video from Tyga. Sweet baby Jesus this is everything I hate about 2013 hip-hop in four minutes.

So y'all might convince me otherwise in the comments below, but for now, Tyga it is. Who you got?



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