WTF is Migos Saying on "Rich Nigga Timeline" (A Very Serious Lyrical Investigation)

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Way back in March, Nathan made me listen to the (then) new Migos tape.

I almost died...

So when their new Rich N***a Timeline tape dropped, I tried to blow up the internet so Nathan would never find it and never make me listen to it.

He found it...

So here I am, settling in with Migos, but I refuse to listen to the whole thing because I happen to like my brain cells. Instead of recapping every song - which would probabably be the same article it was in March becuase every Migos song is the same - I thought I'd focus in one some of that Robert Frost-esque wordplay that's synonomous with the Migos gang. So it's time for a very serious lyrical breakdown that I'm so eloquently titling, "What The Fuck Is Migos Saying?"

Yes, I'm aware that the "actual" lyrics are probably all on Rap Genius, but if there's any fun to be had in listening to rappers like Young Thug and Migos, it isn't in what they're actually saying, it's in trying to figure out what the fuck they're saying. Migos didn't actually do an entire song dedicated to Andrew Bynum, did they? No...but also maybe they really did. You get the point, it's basically this. So without further ado, let's get to the lyrical beauty: 

"Cross The Country"

"Top down when I'm on the avenue / thinking of brickin' we missing the dog food"

Because everyone knows you can't brick unless you have some dog food. Here's the thing about these lines--  I know this makes absolutely no sense, but I'm still convinced he says dog food. Then I'm stuck thinking, "Well, maybe he does say dog food. I mean, is it really that absurd in Migos land?" Then, before you know it, I'm stuck in Migos-inception, wondering what's true, what's a mirage, and if I'm going crazy. All because he totally says "dog food."

P.S.- Does this song really need to be six minutes long? Does it really, though?

"Hit Em"

"Hit Em with the Unk"

DJ UNKKKKKKKKKKKK. Every trap lord knows you gotta hit em with a little "Walk It Out," or maybe, if you are really 'bout that life, bump a little "2 Step." Either way, he totally says "hit em with the Unk."

"Hit the pot watch out for the astros"

Don't ever let Jeff Bagwell see you smoking weed...

"Buyin Em"

"When I'm Bynum"

You can sit there and tell me he says "Buyin Em," and if you need to tell yourself that, fine, but everybody knows that what this song is really about is Andrew Bynum. But it's cool, go ahead and act like they're saying "When I'm Bynum" doesn't make this song exponentially more banger-ific. Every line is hilarious if you say "Bynum." Try not to laugh. Just try. 

"Bachelor"

"Bachula"

I know they say "Bachelor," but "Bachula" makes me think of a twenty something Vampire eating cereal out of cups in his pajamas and it makes the song that much better. So, like "Bynum," I'm going to hear this my way and laugh at every line.

Two verses of "kkajsouoeuriwidbnlsnaldjshodhwo"

After the minute and a half mark, I litereally understood two words, "grown up" and "habitat." I don't even have a guess. I flat out don't know what they are saying. Slow down....

"Naw FR"

"Nah Pharrell"

Another one under the "Bynum" theory. The song is just so much better if you replace "Naw for real" with "Naw Pharrell." Just picture this guy every time he says it and don't laugh. I fucking dare you.

"Take Her"

"I take a gold dump in the mall"

Again, this is one that might be true. They probably spend a fair amount of time in the mall, they're so rich they shit gold, boom, they're taking golden poops in the mall bathroom. Especially if there is a Golden Corral in the food court; shit is like a natural laxitive.

"She act just like me and she homer"

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"What Yall Doin"

"Woah my n***a robbin or he's a kitten"

Clearly the Migos brothers have never heard of thug cats. Felines and thug life are not mutually exclusive.

I should probably stop there before this really does become Inception and I lose all sense of reality, but that was surpisingly good times. Some people actually enjoy Migos for Migos-sake. I am not one of those some people. I enjoy Migos when I can pretend they said Andrew Bynum. So you can sit here and tell me I'm a hater, or I don't understand real rap, but I'll be too busy looking up pictures of cats dressed as things to care. I win. And maybe, just maybe, we all win. 

[Lucas Garrison is a writer for DJBooth.net. His favorite album is “College Dropout,” but you can also tweet him your favorite Migos songs at @LucasDJBooth.]

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