It’s midnite on a Saturday and instead of gearing up to hit my peak hour set, I’m sitting at home drafting what you’re reading right now. The last two weekends I’ve either given my existing gigs away or turned down offers on my off nights. What the hell is wrong with me?
Maybe I’m just not feeling it lately. Maybe I’ve burned myself out. Maybe it’s just been too much of the same thing over and over. Maybe I just can’t deal with the drunken general public anymore. Maybe I’m getting old. Maybe I miss being a fan of DJing and not depending on it to live. Maybe you’re reading this and feel the same way. Maybe you’re reading it and you think I’m an idiot.
No matter what you think, the fact of the matter is that most of us have a tough choice to make at some point and that is: when is it time to hang up the headphones? It’s a big decision to arrive at, especially if you’re like me and you’ve spent years building up a career full of great accolades. How are you supposed to know when it’s time to make that decision? Do you just wake up one day and think “eh, I’m done” or is it a process where you slowly phase yourself out of everything?
You’ll probably tell me “play less mainstream parties, throw your own parties, or play more parties where you like the music” -- well, I’ve tried that. It’s not that I don’t like current music either, I do indeed, and I stay super on trend or ahead of what’s happening. Unfortunately, the general public is really unforgiving until something is shoved into their brain repeatedly by bigger media formats (that’s another post entirely). Speaking of the general public, I think it’s hard to get them to realize exactly how much work we put into doing what we love, just for them to shit on us.
Is this a dilemma other artists and musicians face? Are blessed with the ability to adapt our art to stay relevant? Or are we cursed by the perception of that same ability to mean “play what I want, and only what I want.” I can’t tell any more. You may be able to, but I can’t.
I don’t love it anymore; or maybe it just doesn’t love me.