Holy Sh*t, T-Pain & Lil Yachty’s “Dan Bilzerian” Is so Bad It’s Good
There are two types of people in this world: those who see a new song from T-Pain and Lil Yachty and get all giddy while scrambling to hit the play button. And those who see a new song from T-Pain and Lil Yachty and start drafting an essay-length comment in their head explaining how it has “single-handedly killed hip-hop forever” (which both Pain and Yachty have been regularly accused of outside their new collaboration).
I’d say I’m somewhere in the middle. I enjoy “1 Night” and “Never Switch Up,” but I’m not the biggest Lil Yachty fan (I do, however, accept that he’s probably going to be around for a while). There’s no denying that T-Pain is a more talented and versatile artist with a much bigger and better catalog, but hearing his Auto-Tuned voice every-damn-where in the late ’00s got kind of annoying.
So when I saw this new song from T-Pain and Lil Yachty, I approached with cautious curiosity. First, let’s talk about the title. “Dan Bilzerian,” as many of you know, is a nod to the gun-toting, poker-playing, lady-killing military bro who’s famous for, well, doing all of those things and documenting it on Instagram. I don’t think T-Pain named this track after Mr. Bilzerian purely in the hope of free promo (although it definitely won’t hurt). No, he named it “Dan Bilzerian” because it’s fun as hell.
“I get 10 Brazilians like I’m Dan Bilzerian / I get 10 Brazilians like I’m Dan Bilzerian / Bitch I’m rich as fuck, bitch I’m rich as fuck / Them hoes can sick a duck, bitches sick a duck,” T-Pain sings on the hook over a catchy piano melody. I couldn’t help but laugh while typing that out. “I get 10 Brazilians like I’m Dan Bilzerian” is so bad it might actually be good, and that “sick a duck” part is just downright silly.
After that, T-Pain floats on the track like Dan Bilzerian does in life, saucing and swagging with more money in his pocket than any care in the world. At one point he raps, “I be in the dark with the semi tucked / You don’t want this shit to go to fisticuffs,” which sounds like a 21 Savage line. But the mood remains buoyant and T-Pain even drops an important P.S.A. on rape culture: “If she ain’t let me fuck, I say, ‘Fuck that bitch’ / But if she wanna fuck I’ma fuck that bitch.”
Lil Yachty doesn’t show up until two-thirds of the way through, and his verse (which includes a Chamillionaire reference) only last 30 seconds, but his influence can be felt throughout the track. The production has that same innocent playground vibe as a lot of Yachty’s music, but thankfully it doesn’t quite have the same watching-Nickelodeon-in-a-trap-house-on-molly feel as “All Times” does. “Dan Bilzerian” taps into Lil Yachty’s youthful sound while anchoring it with T-Pain’s more conventional (and proven) approach.
“Dan Bilzerian” might have arrived too late in the year to reach its full potential, but it still has all the ingredients to become a viral hit: it’s named after a famous internet person, it has Lil Yachty on it, and your little cousin will say it’s catchy as hell. If you can let go of all your rigid listening precepts for three-and-a-half minutes, you might enjoy it, too.
By Andy James. You can follow him on Twitter.
Photo Credit: Audiomack